Merseyside campaign highlights abuse by sons against mothers

A new phase of Merseyside Police and the Police and Crime Commissioners' Taking Action campaignhas launched today (Thursday 29thOctober) shining a light on abuse perpetrated by sons against their mothers, a form of domestic abuse that often goes unrecognised.

While domestic abuse is commonly associated with intimate partner relationships, it can also take place within families.

Abuse by sons towards their mothers can include coercive and controlling behaviour, intimidation, threats, financial exploitation, criminal damage and physical violence.

Many mothers find it difficult to recognise these behaviours as abuse. Feelings of love, responsibility for their child, shame and fear of judgement can make it harder to speak out or seek support.

The campaign has been developed in partnership with The First Step, a specialist domestic abuse service that supports women and families affected by abuse. Drawing on their expertise and insight from working directly with victim-survivors, the campaign messaging has been carefully shaped to reflect the real-life experiences of mothers experiencing abuse from their sons.

This collaboration has helped ensure the language used is sensitive, authentic and recognises the complex emotions many women face, including love for their son, feelings of guilt and the barriers that can prevent them from seeking support. It aims to challenge those misconceptions, raise awareness of son-to-mother abuse and encourage earlier intervention before harmful behaviours escalate and cause serious harm.

The campaign highlights that abuse often exists on a spectrum. While not all cases escalate, repeated and unchecked abusive behaviour can increase the risk of serious harm. In the most extreme circumstances, this can result in matricide, the killing of a mother by her child.

The 2024Femicide in Merseyside: 15 Years of Failing Womenreview, commissioned by The First Step Independent Specialist Domestic Abuse Service alongside other specialist domestic abuse services across Merseyside, highlighted an urgent need to better understand and respond to matricide. The review found that Merseyside's rate of matricide at that time twice that seen elsewhere in the UK.

These findings demonstrate why organisations across Merseyside are working together to raise awareness and improve understanding of this issue. They also reflect a shared commitment from policing, support services and partner agencies to take the findings seriously and ensure that women affected by this form of abuse are recognised, supported and protected.

The campaign forms part of the wider Violence Against Women and Girls programme.

By increasing awareness of these warning signs, the campaign aims to help women recognise abuse earlier, seek support and access safeguarding measures before situations worsen.

Detective Superintendent Ben Dyer, Domestic Abuse Lead, Merseyside Police said:“When people think about domestic abuse, they often think about abusive partners. But abuse can happen within families too, and for some women that abuse comes from their own son.

“We know that many mothers find it difficult to talk about what they are experiencing. Feelings of shame, guilt and fear of judgement can prevent them from seeking help, particularly when they are worried about the impact on their child or wider family. This campaign is about letting those women know they are not alone and that support is available.

“Abuse is never acceptable, regardless of who is responsible. Whether it involves controlling behaviour, intimidation, threats, financial exploitation, damage to property or physical violence, it should never be dismissed as simply a family issue or difficult behaviour.

“By raising awareness of the warning signs, we want to encourage earlier conversations, earlier intervention and earlier access to support. You can love your son and still seek help. Recognising abusive behaviour and reaching out for support at the earliest opportunity can help prevent further harm and keep families safe.

"We have worked closely with The First Step to ensure this campaign reflects the voices and experiences of the women affected. Their insight has been invaluable in helping us develop messaging that acknowledges the complexities of these situations while reassuring victims that they are not alone and that support is available."

Merseyside Police and Crime Commissioner Emily Spurrell said:“When we talk about domestic abuse, many people think of abuse between partners. But for some women, the person causing harm is their own son.

"The reality is that too many mothers are living with fear, intimidation and controlling behaviour behind closed doors, often feeling unable to speak out because of the love they have for their child and the guilt or shame they feel about their behaviour.

"This campaign is about helping women recognise that abuse is never acceptable, whatever the family relationship. Whether it's threats, intimidation, coercive control, financial exploitation, damage to property or physical violence, these are not simply signs of a difficult relationship or challenging behaviour. They are warning signs of abuse and should never be ignored.

“Just as importantly, it is about reassuring mothers that seeking support does not mean giving up on their son. It means protecting themselves, accessing help and taking steps to prevent situations from escalating.

"By raising awareness of the warning signs and making sure support is available at the earliest opportunity, we hope more women will feel empowered to come forward and get the help they need."

Jenny Dennett, Community Domestic Abuse Manager, The First Step said:“The First Step is pleased to support this campaign and work in partnership to address and raise the understanding of coercive control and matricide.

“Domestic abuse is not always visible. It is not always a bruise, a threat, or an act of physical violence.  It is fear behind a closed door. It is manipulation disguised as love, control disguised as concern, and a mother living in silence because the person causing her harm is her own son.

“In mother-son relationships, love, guilt, loyalty, and a deep sense of responsibility can make it incredibly difficult for mothers to recognise what is happening, speak out or seek help. They may fear that asking for support will criminalise their son, damage their family or make an already difficult situation worse. They may minimise their own experiences, believing they should cope, protect their child, or keep the problem within the family.

“Meanwhile, the risks can escalate. The findings from the femicide census review 2024 found that ‘Merseyside’s rates of Matricide were double that of anywhere else in the UK’. 

"Coercive control remains widely misunderstood, including by professionals and by those experiencing abuse themselves. When the signs are not recognised, the seriousness of the situation can be missed. When experiences are minimised or misunderstood, opportunities to intervene and prevent further harm can be lost.

“No mother should have to choose between her own safety and her love for her son. No mother should have to suffer in silence. And no one should have to wait until abuse escalates before their experiences are taken seriously.

“We worked with Media Trust and a renowned film director to produce Behind Closed Doors, a powerful short film released over Mother’s Day weekend. The film was created to challenge misconceptions, shine a light on the often-hidden reality of coercive control in mother-son relationships, and raise awareness of the support available to those who may not know where to turn.

“We will continue to use our media platforms, professional training and outreach events to challenge misunderstanding, strengthen professional responses and help communities recognise the warning signs sooner. We want mothers to know that they are not alone, that what they are experiencing matters, and that seeking help does not mean they have failed their son.

“Our message is clear: recognise the signs. Believe the experience. Offer support without judgment. Act before it is too late. Behind every statistic is a human life. Behind every missed warning sign may be an opportunity to prevent devastating harm. By bringing coercive control out from behind closed doors, we can help ensure that mothers are heard, professionals are better equipped to respond, and more women receive the support they need before it is too late.”

Cllr Shelley Powell, Knowsley Council’s Cabinet Member for Communities and Neighbourhoods, said:“Domestic abuse carried out by sons towards mothers can have devastating impacts on both the victim and the wider family, and this campaign aims to shine a light on the support that is available for victim/survivors.

“When domestic abuse is carried out by a child it can be very difficult for the victim to seek support, with the conflicting emotions making it feel like there is no way out. However, there is no excuse for domestic abuse in whatever form it takes, and no victim/survivor is ever alone.

“I would urge anyone with whom this campaign resonates to seek support.”

Anyone experiencing abuse, or concerned about someone they know, is encouraged to seek help and support. Recognising the signs early and reaching out for support can make a significant difference in preventing further harm and keeping families safe.

You can report domestic abuse by calling 101 or via our websiteReport domestic abuse | Merseyside Police

In an emergency you should always dial 999.

For more information visit: www.merseyside.police.uk/vawg

Support is also available from Victim Care Merseyside:Home: Victim Care Merseyside